“Oh my he's good looking don't let him get you pregnant!"-What my mom said to me after meeting my recruiter!
Has anyone every heard of or read "Amy's Answering Machine," it is this book about all these crazy messages a woman's mom has left her over the years. My friend gave it too me and was like this is your mom to a t. It is exactly that if only I would've come up with that idea and wrote a damn book on it...instead I'll write a blog on it later. For now though I'll go over my MEPS experience. It really wasn't as bad as I was expecting no one really "hassled" me if I was lying about never smoking pot nor having the chicken pox when I was 3. Myself and the other female who went together were checking in with each other after every station asking did you get grilled yet? The worst part was this she beast there who was way beyond rude........she just hates her life I suppose. It wasn't even just the poolies she was harsh to it was even those who worked there. In every group there is always that one idiot...on my MEPS trip I was not spared of this idiot...... the evil she beast was giving us directions and her first direction was stay with me do exactly as I say do not work ahead...so what does Mr. Idiot sitting next to me do he works ahead and of course she sees him and of course he screwed up so we all get yelled at and have to start back at square one. Then there was one kid who kept falling behind every time we had to sign our names.......god that poor kid I thought the she beast was going to eat him! It didn't help that everyone at his table made fun of him and never offered to help him out. C'mon people were only as strong as our weakest link and I'm not sure about you but I'm sick of spending 10 minutes on every line we have to sign. The other part all of us females were dreading was the exam...it really wasn't that bad basically the old guy said spread em' you spread your legs he decided you were indeed female and you got to go get dressed. Now the duck walk that was horrible not because it was hard or anything, but because the she beast was in there demonstrating it and yelling at us if we didn't do it exactly as she said(the old man Dr. finally said ok ok that's enough they are all fine). You try watching a fat lady with a mullet walk around like a duck and keep a straight face! Also it was like negative 30 degrees everywhere we went. Not to mention the giant napkins we got to wear that they deemed "robes"...seriously it was a giant napkin with a hole for your head and arms...I think they need to hand those out in restaurants.....I swear no fail every time I eat anything I always wind up with stained clothes. Then there was the peeing in front of someone ordeal...it was no biggie til the lab guy spilled the pee of the poor girl in front of me! Yeah no joke...that was gross but hey at least I didn't have to try and pee in front of the she beast again. Towards the end of medical she kind of softened up to me because she yelled, Kim get over here, so I hopped up and walked over to stand behind here, after a few seconds she turned around and looked at me crazy going what do you want, what is your problem? I just told her my name was Kim and she had called me up there. She actually broke a smile and said oh ha there is a Kim that works here I wasn't talking to you, but that’s good real good. After medical I found out I didn't get my job I was pissed not because of the job thing, but because my recruiter called up to talk to me and said some not so beneficial things.....it went something like well you know women aren't essential to the Marine Corps........recent hs grads are going to get better job choices........blah blah blah then I kept telling him he was making me feel stuck and that I wasn't going to sign just because he was pressuring me. I wanted so bad to hang up that phone on him, but instead I signed open contract and decided to look into mos's more when I got home. It's kind of hard to get a good idea of what a job field entails when you have a desperate recruiter on the phone trying to explain them. I know I know your all thinking oh no not open contract but look I'd rather hold out with the chance I may get an MOS I want than sign for something I really don't want! I'll get into all that later though.....so anyways I made it through medical and everything else. I have 2 tats so I kept having to flash everyone to get the ok on them...you would think dropping my pants for one person would be enough guess not. Getting sworn in was pretty awesome....but the coolest thing was the look on people's faces when they noticed my name tag said USMC! I'm not very bias when it comes to the armed forces ok ok I take that back I am very USMC bias but more of in a good humored kind of way.......I would never tell someone they were doing less than me just because they were joining another service... we all have one common goal and that’s really all there is too it. But you could definitely tell who was a Marine in MEPS and who was not....that even stretched down to us lowly poolies....members of the USMC all seem to have that "cocky" air to themselves! LOL. As far as my job thing went/goes I told my recruiter how pissed I was at him for what he pulled on me at MEPS (I made sure to do it when no one was around...c'mon now I have a little bit of manners), he understood but explained to me that when he was talking to me he had the whole office sitting there staring at him telling him he better not screw this up........so truthfully he was just as pissed and scared as I was. My recruiter is a great guy but he's new and I can't fault him for that..........and honestly I wouldn't want anyone else to be my recruiter because I know that before anything else he's my friend. I know that sounds cheesy, but in my case it's true......as soon as I hung up the phone with him at MEPS he sent me a bunch of text messages apologizing......when he got to MEPS he made a beeline for me to make sure things were ok, and even now a week or so after I've signed I still see and hear from him almost daily...ok time for me to get off my soapbox. Anyways the day after I got back I decided to go into the office and chitchat with the boss...I felt bad about going over my recruiter's head but that's what the boss is there for right? I think in a way the boss was expecting me to be a lot more pissed off at my recruiter than I was. In all reality though it's no one's fault there are just no programs left and those that are left I REALLY don't want....I was supposed to be pretty much "guaranteed" a media option slot because the higher ups had went out looking for it before I went to MEPS and told the boss they had one for me.....that didn't pan out and neither did the public affairs deal......plus the only thing left in Admin is supply and finance.......I'm not to keen on that so we kept looking. Turns out they had some spots for MP but I'm too short.....UGH! If it's not one thing it's another..... after an hour or so of trying to find anything the boss said he never advises an open contract, but there was really nothing else to advise me to do......since everything that was left I REALLY didn't want.... I'm hoping while I'm in boot something opens up if not well then so be it at least I didn't sign for something just to sign for something! I have to keep reminding myself that if it was really about job choice I would've joined the Army, but that is not the case I joined to be a Marine all jobs that they offer are second choice to me so it's no real biggie. I say that now wait til' I find out my MOS then I might be singing a different tune lol! Oh and did I mention my recruiter got stabbed.......yeah you read right! After he dropped us off at MEPS he went to the office to pick up his car and as soon as he got in and started it 2 guys pulled him out of it, he slammed his door shut, keys still in the ignition and one guy pulled a knife on him...so my recruiter grabbed the knife turned it around on the guy and got him in the ribs kind of under the armpit..... by this time the second guy had already took off and the stabbed guy joined him! My recruiter ended up with a nice gash running across four of his fingers and had to get stitches. Really what kind of moron does that I mean his car has USMC & combat vet bumper stickers...c'mon are you trying to get killed? Needless to say my good ol' recruiter still made the trek to MEPS to get us the next day when he could've pawned it off on someone else. Ok well I'm off to try and sleep have a good Easter everyone.
-Maybe Marine
